I've been back from the Springs for a week now. Well, we were at the beach this past week. But anywho, I have been trying to come up with a blog post sufficient enough to describe the time at the Springs. But there hasn't been ample time yet. So bear with me, I am here. I just haven't had time to post yet. Sorry.
I hope to have something up in the next few days. Perhaps next week when I'm recovering from having my wisdom teeth out. We'll see.
I'll post again soon - I promise.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
It is finished (for now)
I graduated on Saturday. Yay! Cum laude, too. (That means I got to hang a white cord around my neck.) :) Then on Monday through today, my class and I were at the lake, celebrating in our newfound freedom and mourning the loss of such an amazing class. And now, at 10:45 pm, I am sitting in my incredibly messy room with my duffle bag packed for White Sulphur Springs, and notes for thank you notes in front of me. And listening to the thunderstorm outside. Which, along with the late hour, is making me wish I was in bed. So these thank-yous will have to wait. And so will this blog. I'll be in the land of the internet-less, otherwise known as rural Pennsylvania, for two weeks, and then on to the beach with family. That will be LOADS of fun, so I'll be sure to mention that once I have Avniel (my trusty laptop) with me again and connected to the web.
So I must say adieu and good night!
So I must say adieu and good night!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Soon, but not yet
Well. Today marked the end of the last high school class I will ever take. It's a strange feeling - wonderful yet sad. I've been at my school (K-12) for 10 years. The people in my class are pretty much the only people I've known in classes. Several people are going to the same college, but only one other girl from church is going to the college I'm going to. And our schedules (stayed up late trying to find stuff to work) don't match up at all. Ah, well, to each major his own classes. I am excited for the new start though.
Despite the last day of classes today, I don't graduate until Saturday. That will be wonderful. I'm so excited!
Oh, and the title was taken from Tangled. Hehe. ^_^
Despite the last day of classes today, I don't graduate until Saturday. That will be wonderful. I'm so excited!
Oh, and the title was taken from Tangled. Hehe. ^_^
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Of Carabiners and Exhaustion
I promised myself I would blog more often, so I'm trying. However, it is 10:30, and after a long day of school and rehearsal for the upcoming choral concert, I cannot think or write clearly. Thankfully, I have an arsenal of writing from creative writing during the fall semester. This is for the rock-climbing fanatics out there.
Climb Away
Spiders!
My muscles freeze
Refuse to move.
That smells wafts towards me from
The crevice I am about to
Squeeze my fingers into.
Wait. My nails
Scratch the face, bringing pain
And the awful sound.
Gravity pulls against me,
Ropes begging me to climb.
My arms and legs burn
From the position I squat on
The vertical face. Toes
Protest from the jammed cracks.
Warily I eye the potential hold.
Wearily I hold my position.
No spiders. Choose another crack.
The pitted rock is not comfortable
Under calloused hands. Fingers tremble.
I rest one arm
And then the other.
No change. Knuckles are frozen
Into place by exhaustion.
I dip my hand
Into the bag at my hip
And tighten the chalky hold.
Sweat drips down my undershirt
Chilly despite my warmth.
I fight the urge to wipe
My forehead. Hair is plastered to
My cheeks, the back of my neck.
Arms wobbling, I shove my toes
Into a hole. My legs burn
But I straighten.
Fingers find awkward holds—
Anything to keep from falling.
The rope holds me, wiggles in
Anticipation of the next move.
I sniff back liquid, inhaling the
Fragrance of sweat.
A carabiner jingles,
Anxious to be back in
The backpack, with his
Brothers.
I lunge for its twin,
My lips press a greeting on
The cold metal.
I settle back in the harness.
Every muscle groans with
Relief. But I’ve got the
Best seat right here.
Climb Away
Spiders!
My muscles freeze
Refuse to move.
That smells wafts towards me from
The crevice I am about to
Squeeze my fingers into.
Wait. My nails
Scratch the face, bringing pain
And the awful sound.
Gravity pulls against me,
Ropes begging me to climb.
My arms and legs burn
From the position I squat on
The vertical face. Toes
Protest from the jammed cracks.
Warily I eye the potential hold.
Wearily I hold my position.
No spiders. Choose another crack.
The pitted rock is not comfortable
Under calloused hands. Fingers tremble.
I rest one arm
And then the other.
No change. Knuckles are frozen
Into place by exhaustion.
I dip my hand
Into the bag at my hip
And tighten the chalky hold.
Sweat drips down my undershirt
Chilly despite my warmth.
I fight the urge to wipe
My forehead. Hair is plastered to
My cheeks, the back of my neck.
Arms wobbling, I shove my toes
Into a hole. My legs burn
But I straighten.
Fingers find awkward holds—
Anything to keep from falling.
The rope holds me, wiggles in
Anticipation of the next move.
I sniff back liquid, inhaling the
Fragrance of sweat.
A carabiner jingles,
Anxious to be back in
The backpack, with his
Brothers.
I lunge for its twin,
My lips press a greeting on
The cold metal.
I settle back in the harness.
Every muscle groans with
Relief. But I’ve got the
Best seat right here.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Tears for Sacrifice
The past few months, I've felt an incredible surge in emotion when it comes to certain things. Previously when I didn't really "get" something, now, I get a wave of emotion. For instance, yesterday I was listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack in the car on the way back from a camping trip. Les Mis has so many parts that make me teary-eyed, but some of them are so full of emotion. But one of the huge parts was when Jean Valjean sings "Bring Him Home." Cosette is his adopted daughter, but it is so amazing how much Valjean has come to love her as his own. He wants the best for her. And he sees that what would make her happy is to be with Marius. He offers his own life for that of the man to become his son-in-law.
And today, I nearly teared up again. Tomorrow is Memorial Day, the day we set aside to commemorate all who have served our country in the armed forces. We live in a protected country. Not many countries can boast that much. But we are so incredibly blessed with men and women who give up their lives for us. They give up their lives for one another. Sacrifice! What a blessed thing!
What is it about sacrifice that touches each of us to the soul? Whether it is someone taking the blame for something you did, or giving their life so you could live, it touches us. In a world that refuses to love simple, sweet beauty, why have we clung to sacrifice as such a beautiful thing? We see it if we look - a mother laboring to bring her child into the world because she cares about it far more than she cares about herself; a father crying out in intercession for his child because he would rather be in pain than see that young one go through it; a friend, a classmate, a comrade, who steps into our place to take the blame for something, or even to give up their life so we can live. That is what is so amazing about our military. When men and women are fighting for something, they assume this incredible selflessness that turns all thoughts away from themselves and to others. They step into buildings themselves because they care more about their fellow soldiers. They crawl into an area where the enemy is shooting to retrieve their fallen friend.
Sacrifice.
Once upon a time, a man loved his brother so much that when the enemy aimed his gun at him, the man stepped forward and said, "Take me instead." The brother cried out, "Brother, you have done nothing!" The man gently told him, "I want you to live. Go to safety." Weeping, the brother ran into the safe zone and watched as the man bravely stood his ground before the enemy.
Some time later, the brother and his friend were in another battle when the friend was shot. The brother crawled forward, cradled his friend in his arms, and brought him back to safety. In the process, he was fatally shot. He waved off help, saying, "Help him first." In the end, the brother died, and the friend lived, but he, like the brother once upon a time, held that sacrifice close to his heart. If he has to choose, he will choose sacrifice.
What will you choose?
And today, I nearly teared up again. Tomorrow is Memorial Day, the day we set aside to commemorate all who have served our country in the armed forces. We live in a protected country. Not many countries can boast that much. But we are so incredibly blessed with men and women who give up their lives for us. They give up their lives for one another. Sacrifice! What a blessed thing!
What is it about sacrifice that touches each of us to the soul? Whether it is someone taking the blame for something you did, or giving their life so you could live, it touches us. In a world that refuses to love simple, sweet beauty, why have we clung to sacrifice as such a beautiful thing? We see it if we look - a mother laboring to bring her child into the world because she cares about it far more than she cares about herself; a father crying out in intercession for his child because he would rather be in pain than see that young one go through it; a friend, a classmate, a comrade, who steps into our place to take the blame for something, or even to give up their life so we can live. That is what is so amazing about our military. When men and women are fighting for something, they assume this incredible selflessness that turns all thoughts away from themselves and to others. They step into buildings themselves because they care more about their fellow soldiers. They crawl into an area where the enemy is shooting to retrieve their fallen friend.
Sacrifice.
Once upon a time, a man loved his brother so much that when the enemy aimed his gun at him, the man stepped forward and said, "Take me instead." The brother cried out, "Brother, you have done nothing!" The man gently told him, "I want you to live. Go to safety." Weeping, the brother ran into the safe zone and watched as the man bravely stood his ground before the enemy.
Some time later, the brother and his friend were in another battle when the friend was shot. The brother crawled forward, cradled his friend in his arms, and brought him back to safety. In the process, he was fatally shot. He waved off help, saying, "Help him first." In the end, the brother died, and the friend lived, but he, like the brother once upon a time, held that sacrifice close to his heart. If he has to choose, he will choose sacrifice.
What will you choose?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The Journey
Yay! There's a new pretty background! I especially like the birds. ^_^ I'm changing the colors and format from this point on, but I'm going to leave the old posts. The light orange looks pretty with the pink (although it makes it terribly hard to read).
Anywho, I've sadly neglected this poor little blog. Not that very many people are reading, but I still feel bad about it. Let's see. I'll try to describe what's been going on in this long absence.
At my school, the seniors have to complete a senior thesis, complete with oral defense, during the course of the year, to be finished at the end of the year. We have to describe ten loci of the Christian faith, give an apologia on a topic we choose, and then integrate our faith into a chosen vocation. It's a tough project. Every one goes into this project fearing it. I wasn't as worried about it as others in my class, but I was a little nervous. This project came to an end on the 13th for me, and I did really well on the oral defense part of it! ^_^
With the end of high school, I plan on going to college to pursue a nursing degree. Those of you who know me well know that I love writing and wonder why I am not going to be a writer. My dad pointed out that I don't have to have a degree in creative writing to write novels. As long as I keep my craft up, I should still be able to write the rest of my life. So I'm going to college. During that time I'm trying to work out a study abroad in Israel for a semester which will be AMAZING if it works out. Once I have my B.S. in Nursing and have take the exam to be an R.N., I hope to work for a bit to save enough money to continue schooling to become a nurse-midwife. THAT I am really excited about. God's given me such a passion for unborn babies and expectant moms. He's really blessed me.
Of course, if God points me out to a nice young man in the midst of that, hehe, I'm going to have a talk with Him. ^_^ I really would like to focus on getting my R.N., but I do know that if God tells me the time is ripe to be married and to raise a family, I will very, very willingly do so.
Other things: I've been really involved in the drama and music departments at school. I worked crew for a production of Annie Jr. and also made a cameo in the N.Y.C. scene as a tourist. That was fun. And I've been singing this year in chorus, which has been amazing. One of my favorite songs of the year is "All Who Dwell in the Shadow of the Lord." That's a mouthful, so we often call it "All Who Dwell." It has such a beautiful melody, and the alto harmony is gorgeous. I can't describe how beautiful it is. And now, we're preparing for a pop concert, and I have a teeny solo in "I'm gonna wash that man" from a Rodgers and Hammerstein medley. I was a little less than thrilled about it, since I was hoping for the Eponine solo in "One Day More." However, I spoke with my director, and she's helping me with my projection. Maybe someday I'll get to sing Eponine.
I've also fallen in love with Les Miserables, but I believe that will have to wait for another day. :-)
I shall write again at a later date (not too late though!)
Anywho, I've sadly neglected this poor little blog. Not that very many people are reading, but I still feel bad about it. Let's see. I'll try to describe what's been going on in this long absence.
At my school, the seniors have to complete a senior thesis, complete with oral defense, during the course of the year, to be finished at the end of the year. We have to describe ten loci of the Christian faith, give an apologia on a topic we choose, and then integrate our faith into a chosen vocation. It's a tough project. Every one goes into this project fearing it. I wasn't as worried about it as others in my class, but I was a little nervous. This project came to an end on the 13th for me, and I did really well on the oral defense part of it! ^_^
With the end of high school, I plan on going to college to pursue a nursing degree. Those of you who know me well know that I love writing and wonder why I am not going to be a writer. My dad pointed out that I don't have to have a degree in creative writing to write novels. As long as I keep my craft up, I should still be able to write the rest of my life. So I'm going to college. During that time I'm trying to work out a study abroad in Israel for a semester which will be AMAZING if it works out. Once I have my B.S. in Nursing and have take the exam to be an R.N., I hope to work for a bit to save enough money to continue schooling to become a nurse-midwife. THAT I am really excited about. God's given me such a passion for unborn babies and expectant moms. He's really blessed me.
Of course, if God points me out to a nice young man in the midst of that, hehe, I'm going to have a talk with Him. ^_^ I really would like to focus on getting my R.N., but I do know that if God tells me the time is ripe to be married and to raise a family, I will very, very willingly do so.
Other things: I've been really involved in the drama and music departments at school. I worked crew for a production of Annie Jr. and also made a cameo in the N.Y.C. scene as a tourist. That was fun. And I've been singing this year in chorus, which has been amazing. One of my favorite songs of the year is "All Who Dwell in the Shadow of the Lord." That's a mouthful, so we often call it "All Who Dwell." It has such a beautiful melody, and the alto harmony is gorgeous. I can't describe how beautiful it is. And now, we're preparing for a pop concert, and I have a teeny solo in "I'm gonna wash that man" from a Rodgers and Hammerstein medley. I was a little less than thrilled about it, since I was hoping for the Eponine solo in "One Day More." However, I spoke with my director, and she's helping me with my projection. Maybe someday I'll get to sing Eponine.
I've also fallen in love with Les Miserables, but I believe that will have to wait for another day. :-)
I shall write again at a later date (not too late though!)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Selfless Sacrifice
Oops. I have a blog, don't I? I'm sorry I've neglected you. Life's been busy. So much has been going on, and it's rather annoying and hard to deal with sometimes. Some of it has been nice, but it was kind of like the calm before the storm.
I've been trying to keep up with reading, so I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. There is some GREAT stuff in there, a lot of which I haven't thought much about.
There are a few things that I haven't thought about before that now keeps coming up: selfishness, selflessness, and sacrifice. (Ooh, alliteration!) While selflessness and sacrifice go together, selfishness is the odd one out.
Selfishness is what prevents us from being selfless and being willing to sacrifice. It's taking ourselves into account first, which isn't what God commands us to do. Someone I know has said that there's a three-tier structure of how to think. God first, others second, self third. Last. On the bottom. Yeshua had to get on his hands and knees to wash his disciples feet. Servanthood (bahaha, more alliteration. You'll never get away from it!) is also part of being selfless and sacrificial. But just because you are willing to be a servant doesn't mean that you are one.
I got the opportunity to serve at a retreat center this past summer and it was amazing. I loved being with everyone there and doing everyday chores with them. I enjoyed the chores...until I got home and had to do dishes. I hate doing dishes. It takes forever because you have to clear the table, put stuff in the dishwasher, take care of the extra food, wash the pots and pans, sweep under the table, wash the counters and the table...there's just so much in relation to setting the table. I keep thinking of this as time that I could be better using by working on homework, writing, reading, learning music, playing piano, playing with my brothers, etc. It's all about me!
Well it's not. When has it been about me? Never. We might grow up believing it to an extent. I know a four-year-old who is the oldest in his family and he's spoiled on a few levels because his daddy especially, loved giving him treats and stuff. Then his little brother came along and he quickly learned he had to share attention, toys, (Mommy and Daddy) with this baby brother. He thinks he's the center of the universe. There is only ONE center of the universe, and that is God. But we don't often think that way. We're too wrapped up in our own little world where the weather is too cold, the food too bland, the house too frigid, the internet not working. At least we have sunlight, food, shelter, and even things that have become commodities - cell phones and computers. I know I take things for granted sometimes.
We keep forgetting about the selfless sacrifice that Yeshua made for us. Being selfish isn't His way. It's Satan's. "It's MINE!" I've heard more than once. Sadly, I hear similar words from myself. "You are my friend and nothing's going to change that," or "I got up early and showered for church and now we're not going." The second instance happened just this week. I wasn't thinking about the ramifications for my family. If I wanted to go to church so badly, I would have thought about helping the rest of the family get out of bed, ready for church, and breakfasted, I would have thought about the weather outside - cold and rainy, I would have thought about the rest of the day - Mom and Chad, my stepdad, going to a wedding that afternoon and my sister and I would watch our brothers. But no. I showered, got ready, and lay on my bed reading for an hour and didn't even come down until, as I later found out, after church started so there was absolutely no chance of going.
Selfish things. If I had been thinking about everyone else in my family, I would have remembered the wedding and the weather and that they would need help getting out the door anyway. If I thought more about my sister, maybe we wouldn't fight as much. If I wanted the best for her and tried to make them work.
Recently I've been thinking of this in terms of how I've been viewing life ahead of me. I've been so focused on "me" that I'm forgetting what I need to do know so that I can pour out to others in the future and not be so selfishly focused on me. Which means, now I need to sacrifice my desires and selflessly think of others. I need to consider them more often than myself and try to do the best for them.
Stop thinking selfishly. Start thinking of selfless sacrifices.
I've been trying to keep up with reading, so I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. There is some GREAT stuff in there, a lot of which I haven't thought much about.
There are a few things that I haven't thought about before that now keeps coming up: selfishness, selflessness, and sacrifice. (Ooh, alliteration!) While selflessness and sacrifice go together, selfishness is the odd one out.
Selfishness is what prevents us from being selfless and being willing to sacrifice. It's taking ourselves into account first, which isn't what God commands us to do. Someone I know has said that there's a three-tier structure of how to think. God first, others second, self third. Last. On the bottom. Yeshua had to get on his hands and knees to wash his disciples feet. Servanthood (bahaha, more alliteration. You'll never get away from it!) is also part of being selfless and sacrificial. But just because you are willing to be a servant doesn't mean that you are one.
I got the opportunity to serve at a retreat center this past summer and it was amazing. I loved being with everyone there and doing everyday chores with them. I enjoyed the chores...until I got home and had to do dishes. I hate doing dishes. It takes forever because you have to clear the table, put stuff in the dishwasher, take care of the extra food, wash the pots and pans, sweep under the table, wash the counters and the table...there's just so much in relation to setting the table. I keep thinking of this as time that I could be better using by working on homework, writing, reading, learning music, playing piano, playing with my brothers, etc. It's all about me!
Well it's not. When has it been about me? Never. We might grow up believing it to an extent. I know a four-year-old who is the oldest in his family and he's spoiled on a few levels because his daddy especially, loved giving him treats and stuff. Then his little brother came along and he quickly learned he had to share attention, toys, (Mommy and Daddy) with this baby brother. He thinks he's the center of the universe. There is only ONE center of the universe, and that is God. But we don't often think that way. We're too wrapped up in our own little world where the weather is too cold, the food too bland, the house too frigid, the internet not working. At least we have sunlight, food, shelter, and even things that have become commodities - cell phones and computers. I know I take things for granted sometimes.
We keep forgetting about the selfless sacrifice that Yeshua made for us. Being selfish isn't His way. It's Satan's. "It's MINE!" I've heard more than once. Sadly, I hear similar words from myself. "You are my friend and nothing's going to change that," or "I got up early and showered for church and now we're not going." The second instance happened just this week. I wasn't thinking about the ramifications for my family. If I wanted to go to church so badly, I would have thought about helping the rest of the family get out of bed, ready for church, and breakfasted, I would have thought about the weather outside - cold and rainy, I would have thought about the rest of the day - Mom and Chad, my stepdad, going to a wedding that afternoon and my sister and I would watch our brothers. But no. I showered, got ready, and lay on my bed reading for an hour and didn't even come down until, as I later found out, after church started so there was absolutely no chance of going.
Selfish things. If I had been thinking about everyone else in my family, I would have remembered the wedding and the weather and that they would need help getting out the door anyway. If I thought more about my sister, maybe we wouldn't fight as much. If I wanted the best for her and tried to make them work.
Recently I've been thinking of this in terms of how I've been viewing life ahead of me. I've been so focused on "me" that I'm forgetting what I need to do know so that I can pour out to others in the future and not be so selfishly focused on me. Which means, now I need to sacrifice my desires and selflessly think of others. I need to consider them more often than myself and try to do the best for them.
Stop thinking selfishly. Start thinking of selfless sacrifices.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)