Everything thus far

Well, I am a pitiful blogist. The summer is just so busy and full of wonderful things. So let me begin with a brief overview.

I worked at White Sulphur Springs for two weeks at the beginning of the summer. That was absolutely wonderful; I have gone to camp there for now five summers, and this summer was my second on staff. Next year I hope to do senior staff. It is a lovely place, full of grace and beauty. The people there are gentle and respectful, but awesome and crazy in their own way. I became good friends with several of the senior staffers for this summer, and have been talking with them, even while we are not together. Such are the relationships there, that when you go, you know at least somebody, if not many somebodies! Often times, you will mention one person's name at a meal, to find that everyone else at the table knows them as well. It is a lovely community, one that I hope to stay part of for years and years to come. Even though I am not military, I still love the place as a retreat center, "a place apart, a place of the heart" and "where cares refuse to stay." O, how I love it there. Not just because it is nestled in the midst of the mountains. Not just because of the peace and quiet that greets you. No, it is a place of community, of fellowship with both people and of God.

Two weeks after the Springs, I volunteered in my church's Vacation Bible School as a small group leader for the fifth and sixth graders. Each small group was composed of one of the two grades and seven to eight boys or girls. My group was all girls (obviously). Those girls were so cool. Quest (the 5th/6th graders) did a shopping trip to buy food for a local food pantry one day, and did service projects at two local elementary schools on two other days. However, one of the days was insanely hot, and we opted out of working out in the heat of the afternoon. The kids were given the option to arrive at the schools in the morning to do a few hours of work before VBS. Even though my group had not originally signed up to do one of the schools, three of my girls and I showed up to one of the elementary schools to spray paint bike racks and throw mulch around. I was awed by their willingness to serve. One of the girls didn't even go to that school! She was homeschooled. That was really neat.

Note: I am not just randomly skipping the two weeks between the Springs and VBS, and the time between VBS and the Springs again. There's just a bunch of little things that went on in those periods that I may or may not get to later. We shall see.

Like I said, a week after VBS, I returned to the Springs, this time for camp. They run a number of youth programs, including Alleghany Outback! (nicknamed AO!) for high school kids. I did AO! for all four years of high school, including a special AOX this summer. AOX is an intense, slightly varied version of AO!, except that it is only for freshman in college and high school seniors. Mainly the freshman though. The other main difference is that the week is focused more on community, fellowship, and our relationship on God rather than on all the cool activities we do. Needless to say, we did do some awesome stuff, but I'm not at liberty to share that. ;) But in all seriousness, the best parts of the week were when we were celebrating, praising, or relying on God, either in community or by ourselves.

I'll tell you a story. In the midst of a day when everyone was tired and exhausted, we had a prayer time. Someone would call out a topic, and we would pray for it for about two minutes, and then another topic would be called out. At the beginning, I said, "Let's start out by praising God." By doing so, rather than complain to God about how tired we were and ask for energy, we praised him for the beautiful day, for eyes to see the beauty and muscles to allow us to be there to see it, etc. After that, we moved on to supplication topics. But it signaled an incredible shift. The rest of the day was filled with intentional conversations full of grace. Several of us exchanged verses we had memorized and discussed them. I told one girl about my experience at a Messianic congregation. And during that time, I laughed. And believe me when I tell you that you have never known laughter or joy until you have spent a day "praying without ceasing." I was so full of joy, I cannot describe it. All pain vaporized. I forgot the exhaustion, having traded it for pure, unending joy.

Joy isn't happiness. Happiness is too shallow to truly describe joy. Joy is deep and, I believe, is linked and closely entertwined with contentment. When you allow the Lord to be your sustenance, He rewards you with strength beyond your capacity and incredible joy.

"The Lord is my strength" moved to "The Lord is my stronghold" to "The Lord is my salvation" to, lastly "The Lord is my song."

Selfless Sacrifice

Oops. I have a blog, don't I? I'm sorry I've neglected you. Life's been busy. So much has been going on, and it's rather annoying and hard to deal with sometimes. Some of it has been nice, but it was kind of like the calm before the storm.


I've been trying to keep up with reading, so I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. There is some GREAT stuff in there, a lot of which I haven't thought much about.


There are a few things that I haven't thought about before that now keeps coming up: selfishness, selflessness, and sacrifice. (Ooh, alliteration!) While selflessness and sacrifice go together, selfishness is the odd one out.


Selfishness is what prevents us from being selfless and being willing to sacrifice. It's taking ourselves into account first, which isn't what God commands us to do. Someone I know has said that there's a three-tier structure of how to think. God first, others second, self third. Last. On the bottom. Yeshua had to get on his hands and knees to wash his disciples feet. Servanthood (bahaha, more alliteration. You'll never get away from it!) is also part of being selfless and sacrificial. But just because you are willing to be a servant doesn't mean that you are one.


I got the opportunity to serve at a retreat center this past summer and it was amazing. I loved being with everyone there and doing everyday chores with them. I enjoyed the chores...until I got home and had to do dishes. I hate doing dishes. It takes forever because you have to clear the table, put stuff in the dishwasher, take care of the extra food, wash the pots and pans, sweep under the table, wash the counters and the table...there's just so much in relation to setting the table. I keep thinking of this as time that I could be better using by working on homework, writing, reading, learning music, playing piano, playing with my brothers, etc. It's all about me!


Well it's not. When has it been about me? Never. We might grow up believing it to an extent. I know a four-year-old who is the oldest in his family and he's spoiled on a few levels because his daddy especially, loved giving him treats and stuff. Then his little brother came along and he quickly learned he had to share attention, toys, (Mommy and Daddy) with this baby brother. He thinks he's the center of the universe. There is only ONE center of the universe, and that is God. But we don't often think that way. We're too wrapped up in our own little world where the weather is too cold, the food too bland, the house too frigid, the internet not working. At least we have sunlight, food, shelter, and even things that have become commodities - cell phones and computers. I know I take things for granted sometimes.


We keep forgetting about the selfless sacrifice that Yeshua made for us. Being selfish isn't His way. It's Satan's. "It's MINE!" I've heard more than once. Sadly, I hear similar words from myself. "You are my friend and nothing's going to change that," or "I got up early and showered for church and now we're not going." The second instance happened just this week. I wasn't thinking about the ramifications for my family. If I wanted to go to church so badly, I would have thought about helping the rest of the family get out of bed, ready for church, and breakfasted, I would have thought about the weather outside - cold and rainy, I would have thought about the rest of the day - Mom and Chad, my stepdad, going to a wedding that afternoon and my sister and I would watch our brothers. But no. I showered, got ready, and lay on my bed reading for an hour and didn't even come down until, as I later found out, after church started so there was absolutely no chance of going.


Selfish things. If I had been thinking about everyone else in my family, I would have remembered the wedding and the weather and that they would need help getting out the door anyway. If I thought more about my sister, maybe we wouldn't fight as much. If I wanted the best for her and tried to make them work.


Recently I've been thinking of this in terms of how I've been viewing life ahead of me. I've been so focused on "me" that I'm forgetting what I need to do know so that I can pour out to others in the future and not be so selfishly focused on me. Which means, now I need to sacrifice my desires and selflessly think of others. I need to consider them more often than myself and try to do the best for them.


Stop thinking selfishly. Start thinking of selfless sacrifices.