So I had an idea to draft this blog post back in September, but for whatever reason, the post did not get off the ground until today. Why today? Well, in part to a couple of reasons, some personal things that I cannot talk about on this blog, and today's chapel speaker. This semester, Bruxy Cavey, the teaching pastor at The Meeting House in Canada, has visited a few times for chapel both common chapels, alternate chapels, and freshmen elective chapels. Oh, er, I mean first year elective chapels. Anyway, he's a pretty neat speaker - very different from most of the other speakers I have heard at chapel, not to mention pretty different from most pastors I know. He's not afraid to talk about stuff that many Christians would not. Which is weird but cool.
On to the content. One of the last things he talked about in the chapel today was how marriage and singlehood are GIFTS. As a single, college-aged Christian girl, I admit that it is difficult sometimes to walk around campus, when the cherry trees are in bloom, waving their wispy pink branches all around and causing a flower-storm, and see the various couples walking hand-in-hand. One of my close friends just started dating a guy she's known for a couple months, and it's cute to see them together (all the time...) and hold hands. Add to that the infamous "Ring by Spring!" mantra that is repeated time and time again (jokingly, of course), and sometimes there is a little longing for someone of the opposite gender to come alongside you in your life journey.
That's not altogether a bad thing. God made us, as humans, to desire relationships, and to desire relationships with the opposite sex. Genesis 1:26-28 acknowledges this. We are made male and female in God's image. We can learn something from each other. And together, we reflect the image of God. Other things go along with that, like marriage and increasing in number, but we are made to be in relationship. The problem is when you make an idol of it.
When I was little, I spent an infinite amount of hours playing with my Duplos, Poly Pockets, Barbies (don't judge me - you know you played with them too, even if it was just popping their heads off), and who knows what else, pretending that I was the girl and that I was married and having children. Don't believe me, ask my sister. When I started writing creatively, some of my first stories revolved around a husband and wife raising a family together. Not only my first stories... my stories for a long time reflected that (and still do to an extent).
I dreamt about it for a long time. But at one point, someone pointed out to me that I was spending so much time thinking about the future, that I wasn't resting in the here and now. I was making an idol out of this dream life. No, I didn't dream the stereotypical white picket fence with roses lining or whatever it is, but I did dream of holding babies and being the mommy. I spent so much time thinking about the future, I was not enjoying the present. I wasn't enjoying being single.
This morning, Bruxy mentioned that several married couples he has counseled have said that they wished they were single again, without the responsibilities of running a household. Hey, I wish I could go back to being a kid, when I didn't need to worry about stuff and could just run around outside, go play in the creek, pretend I was fighting dragons or whatever. They say the grass always seems greener on the other side. For some, marriage looks more idyll than singleness. And for those who are married, the reminder of singleness makes them long for days long ago. Those who are old wish they were young, and children dream of being adults.
Stop! We must stop this! We must stop dreaming in the future or reliving the past. The present is here, now, and it is a GIFT! We say "singleness is a gift," but for some reason we belittle singleness, pointing towards marriage as the end. So for those who are single, be single! For those who are married, be married! Enjoy where you are right now because you'll never be in that same place ever again.
The following is an entry from my journal, March 30, 2011, as I was learning about contentment and giving up dreams. I hope the words teach you something in your own journey.
"How shall I go on? I must go on in patience, in contentment with the present. For the present is a gift, and I should not waste it by continually hoping for the future. I must learn to live day by day, so I do not waste myself by pining for my dreams."
And another from June 15 of the same year:
"Long ago, the Lord gave a girl a dream. She accepted it as any other - with joy and fervor and thanksgiving. She cherished the dream, holding it close and praying the Lord would bring it to fruition.
But then, once the girl had fallen in love with the dream, the Lord asked for it back. Didn't he give her this dream so it would come to fruition? But then the Lord asked if she trusted him. How could she deny it? So, heart breaking and tears flowing, she gave it back. It hurt, so much, but once she had come to terms with it, she found incredible freedom.
What became of the dream? She still remembered it, still hoped for it, but she did not allow it to take control. She will not, not with the Lord of Lights as her guide."
I guess the point I'm really trying to encourage is contentment. "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want" (Philippians 4:12). Whether I am single or married. "But godliness with contentment is great gain..." (1 Timothy 6:6).
Shalom.
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Fruit Loops and the Future
In the past week and a half, I have been introduced to the joys of Craig's List. It started with a kayak. Last Tuesday I got the sudden inspiration to go kayak-shopping on Craig's List in the hopes I could find an inexpensive, good kayak and equipment. While I was struck by my failure in timing, as I did not have a mode of transportation to GET the kayak, I did find that I enjoyed perusing Craig's List.
Now my downfall.
It's a very good thing that I do not have a house or a truck, because I have seen some really cool (and random) things on Craig's List, that, if I had a place to put the things, I would probably run out and get. Here's my collection of cool things and random ones.
Sleigh Bed. I always have loved sleigh beds because they just look cool. There's one that is about $500, but I really like it. It's very pretty.
Fabric. This is a good thing, since it would end up being less expensive than Joann's.
Free stuff:
Firewood! Free firewood is excellent in winter! Too bad I don't have a fireplace to burn it...
Couches. You wouldn't believe how many couches are stated as, "You bring the truck to haul it, it's yours."
TV's. Too bad I don't watch TV that often (though I do watch movies...!)
Whirlpool tub.
Fruit Loops. O.o
While all of this is just plain silly to look at, it makes me think of the future. I think about graduating from college and finding a place to live. Some of this stuff would be really great.
In CCC, we are on the Community unit. So, yesterday, we talked about neighborhood communities and I realized that there is a huge difference between the neighborhoods of today and the neighbors of today that I see in my head.
You see, I remember what life was like when I was a kid. I remember playing with the neighborhood kids, playing baseball in the col-de-sac even though I was terrible at it. I remember gathering a group of kids to go down to play at the creek. Because of those memories, I think of being able to let my kids do the same things one day.
But neighborhoods have changed. They are no longer safe for kids to play in the street. I don't know if I would feel comfortable letting my child just run around outside as long as he was in for dinner. Perhaps that is just that I am more aware of the dangers of life, but perhaps there is some value in my fear - that life is very different now than when I grew up.
It's weird for me to say that. I'm barely an adult. But childhood seems eons ago. And, with my little life experience, the time I remember was more than half my lifetime ago. Who can forget being 7 or 8? Who can forget the joys of being 9, 10, or 11? (Adolescence pretty much started kicking in at 12). But the truth of the matter is that I am not 7 anymore, so I do not think like a 7-year-old anymore. I cannot see the world through my young, innocent eyes anymore. That does not mean I should stop looking for it. It just means we should be careful.
In the past few weeks, I have taken to thinking about things I want in the future rather than just avoiding them altogether. In this way, I can confront those things rather than letting them hang out inside of me, secretly wishing they could come out. So, with this, I think about things I want with regards to where I will live and where I raise my children. I realize that some of them are very valid things to wish for, and some of them are not. Some of them are just silly thoughts, while some are serious concerns. I weed out the unnecessary things, so that, if they do not happen, I will have already thought about it. This does not mean I do not still want them to happen. I have dreams. But I should not be crushed if the less important wishes do not happen.
Because, in the end, it does not matter if I live in the suburb I have grown up in or in the country. The community, however, does matter with regards to raising a family. It does not matter if I have a hammock in the backyard or a swing on the porch. It does matter that I am prepared to make memories, no matter where.
Other things are materialistic and silly. I can dream, sure, but I'm part of God's kingdom, and His kingdom is not materialistic. I shall have to pry some of these dreams away from my fingers in the days to come.
I hope that this blog post is not too convoluted. I tend to let my mind wander when writing, so some of this might make no sense. I just let my fingers and thoughts flow. Please bring me in line if I don't make sense. :)
This is Sarah, signing off.
Now my downfall.
It's a very good thing that I do not have a house or a truck, because I have seen some really cool (and random) things on Craig's List, that, if I had a place to put the things, I would probably run out and get. Here's my collection of cool things and random ones.
Sleigh Bed. I always have loved sleigh beds because they just look cool. There's one that is about $500, but I really like it. It's very pretty.
Fabric. This is a good thing, since it would end up being less expensive than Joann's.
Free stuff:
Firewood! Free firewood is excellent in winter! Too bad I don't have a fireplace to burn it...
Couches. You wouldn't believe how many couches are stated as, "You bring the truck to haul it, it's yours."
TV's. Too bad I don't watch TV that often (though I do watch movies...!)
Whirlpool tub.
Fruit Loops. O.o
While all of this is just plain silly to look at, it makes me think of the future. I think about graduating from college and finding a place to live. Some of this stuff would be really great.
In CCC, we are on the Community unit. So, yesterday, we talked about neighborhood communities and I realized that there is a huge difference between the neighborhoods of today and the neighbors of today that I see in my head.
You see, I remember what life was like when I was a kid. I remember playing with the neighborhood kids, playing baseball in the col-de-sac even though I was terrible at it. I remember gathering a group of kids to go down to play at the creek. Because of those memories, I think of being able to let my kids do the same things one day.
But neighborhoods have changed. They are no longer safe for kids to play in the street. I don't know if I would feel comfortable letting my child just run around outside as long as he was in for dinner. Perhaps that is just that I am more aware of the dangers of life, but perhaps there is some value in my fear - that life is very different now than when I grew up.
It's weird for me to say that. I'm barely an adult. But childhood seems eons ago. And, with my little life experience, the time I remember was more than half my lifetime ago. Who can forget being 7 or 8? Who can forget the joys of being 9, 10, or 11? (Adolescence pretty much started kicking in at 12). But the truth of the matter is that I am not 7 anymore, so I do not think like a 7-year-old anymore. I cannot see the world through my young, innocent eyes anymore. That does not mean I should stop looking for it. It just means we should be careful.
In the past few weeks, I have taken to thinking about things I want in the future rather than just avoiding them altogether. In this way, I can confront those things rather than letting them hang out inside of me, secretly wishing they could come out. So, with this, I think about things I want with regards to where I will live and where I raise my children. I realize that some of them are very valid things to wish for, and some of them are not. Some of them are just silly thoughts, while some are serious concerns. I weed out the unnecessary things, so that, if they do not happen, I will have already thought about it. This does not mean I do not still want them to happen. I have dreams. But I should not be crushed if the less important wishes do not happen.
Because, in the end, it does not matter if I live in the suburb I have grown up in or in the country. The community, however, does matter with regards to raising a family. It does not matter if I have a hammock in the backyard or a swing on the porch. It does matter that I am prepared to make memories, no matter where.
Other things are materialistic and silly. I can dream, sure, but I'm part of God's kingdom, and His kingdom is not materialistic. I shall have to pry some of these dreams away from my fingers in the days to come.
I hope that this blog post is not too convoluted. I tend to let my mind wander when writing, so some of this might make no sense. I just let my fingers and thoughts flow. Please bring me in line if I don't make sense. :)
This is Sarah, signing off.
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