In the past week and a half, I have been introduced to the joys of Craig's List. It started with a kayak. Last Tuesday I got the sudden inspiration to go kayak-shopping on Craig's List in the hopes I could find an inexpensive, good kayak and equipment. While I was struck by my failure in timing, as I did not have a mode of transportation to GET the kayak, I did find that I enjoyed perusing Craig's List.
Now my downfall.
It's a very good thing that I do not have a house or a truck, because I have seen some really cool (and random) things on Craig's List, that, if I had a place to put the things, I would probably run out and get. Here's my collection of cool things and random ones.
Sleigh Bed. I always have loved sleigh beds because they just look cool. There's one that is about $500, but I really like it. It's very pretty.
Fabric. This is a good thing, since it would end up being less expensive than Joann's.
Free stuff:
Firewood! Free firewood is excellent in winter! Too bad I don't have a fireplace to burn it...
Couches. You wouldn't believe how many couches are stated as, "You bring the truck to haul it, it's yours."
TV's. Too bad I don't watch TV that often (though I do watch movies...!)
Whirlpool tub.
Fruit Loops. O.o
While all of this is just plain silly to look at, it makes me think of the future. I think about graduating from college and finding a place to live. Some of this stuff would be really great.
In CCC, we are on the Community unit. So, yesterday, we talked about neighborhood communities and I realized that there is a huge difference between the neighborhoods of today and the neighbors of today that I see in my head.
You see, I remember what life was like when I was a kid. I remember playing with the neighborhood kids, playing baseball in the col-de-sac even though I was terrible at it. I remember gathering a group of kids to go down to play at the creek. Because of those memories, I think of being able to let my kids do the same things one day.
But neighborhoods have changed. They are no longer safe for kids to play in the street. I don't know if I would feel comfortable letting my child just run around outside as long as he was in for dinner. Perhaps that is just that I am more aware of the dangers of life, but perhaps there is some value in my fear - that life is very different now than when I grew up.
It's weird for me to say that. I'm barely an adult. But childhood seems eons ago. And, with my little life experience, the time I remember was more than half my lifetime ago. Who can forget being 7 or 8? Who can forget the joys of being 9, 10, or 11? (Adolescence pretty much started kicking in at 12). But the truth of the matter is that I am not 7 anymore, so I do not think like a 7-year-old anymore. I cannot see the world through my young, innocent eyes anymore. That does not mean I should stop looking for it. It just means we should be careful.
In the past few weeks, I have taken to thinking about things I want in the future rather than just avoiding them altogether. In this way, I can confront those things rather than letting them hang out inside of me, secretly wishing they could come out. So, with this, I think about things I want with regards to where I will live and where I raise my children. I realize that some of them are very valid things to wish for, and some of them are not. Some of them are just silly thoughts, while some are serious concerns. I weed out the unnecessary things, so that, if they do not happen, I will have already thought about it. This does not mean I do not still want them to happen. I have dreams. But I should not be crushed if the less important wishes do not happen.
Because, in the end, it does not matter if I live in the suburb I have grown up in or in the country. The community, however, does matter with regards to raising a family. It does not matter if I have a hammock in the backyard or a swing on the porch. It does matter that I am prepared to make memories, no matter where.
Other things are materialistic and silly. I can dream, sure, but I'm part of God's kingdom, and His kingdom is not materialistic. I shall have to pry some of these dreams away from my fingers in the days to come.
I hope that this blog post is not too convoluted. I tend to let my mind wander when writing, so some of this might make no sense. I just let my fingers and thoughts flow. Please bring me in line if I don't make sense. :)
This is Sarah, signing off.
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