When it hurts to say goodbye

Yesterday marked a very strange day of remembrance for me, which of course I forgot about and instead remembered it today. Two and a half years ago, I lost one of my best friends. Three years ago, when I celebrated his birthday for the last time, I never imagined the possibility of losing such a friend. I don't think we ever really expect to lose friends that are so close to us, who we know so well. We don't expect to be betrayed in such a manner. We expect that this time of joy will continue going on and on.

But the reality of life is that it will not last forever. We must live life not in anticipation of tomorrow, but in celebration of today.

I don't know how long I have on this earth. Does it really matter? Should I not live life as if it were the last day I had on this earth?

It is for this reason that I always end phone conversations with my family with "I love you." I don't know if this is the last day they have, and even if it isn't, saying "I love you" is not going to do any harm to them.

Cherish every day.

I've been struck with the shortness of life through people close to me who have lost friends. While very few close to me have passed from this life, the friend I mentioned at the beginning of this post is lost to me in this life, though he still lives on. I will perhaps never see him again on this side of eternity, and I don't need to. And while the most painful part of losing him was not knowing where his soul was, I can pray for him. Once upon a time, I promised him that he would never be without a prayer. I have held fast to that promise, for it is a good promise.

So, for those with loved ones, love them. Never let them believe they are not loved. Spend time with them. Hug them. Tell them you love them. But don't let them live life without knowing that.

For those who have lost loved ones to the enemy's camp, never cease praying. Never forget them in prayers. Though their spiritual soul and physical body are beyond your sight for now, do not forget them. You can be that spiritual intercessor for them. Pray. And pray hard. You don't know when that chance will be snatched from you.

For those who have lost loved ones to the other side of eternity, I can hardly speak advice to you, for I have lost very few in this manner. Never forget. But please don't forget us in this life either.

The following poem is one that I wrote shortly after I lost my friend. I hope it brings hope to you.

When it hurts to say goodbye

When it hurts to say goodbye,

Shallow words are all that come

Prolonged friendship ends in sighs

Yet, there’s no doubt it is done

A stretched out hand pleas for more

But love has slipped into a quiet store

No more wasted, no more lost

It’s far too high a precious cost

When it hurts to say goodbye,

An ache comes in that doesn’t leave

Desperation in wait lies

When you take your heart off your sleeve

A cry for help, but no one will hear

The evil ones come close and leer

“You won’t find love, you’ll be all alone.”

But no one’s there; you are alone

When it hurts to say goodbye

Who is the one who bound up your hole?

Or else the wound would make you die

Who is the one who makes you whole?

The Lord of Lights held needle and thread

“I’ll bind you up,” he gently said.

You hadn’t heard him before, but now give away

Your heart to the only Truth, Life, and Way

When it hurts to say goodbye,

Adonai will hold your hand.

Memories, like the wind, will scatter by

God holds you close from dead, dry sand.

The sands of lost memories cease

The sands that held you from God’s peace

The dead sand that made your heart dry

Now turns to wet, the storm’s calm eye

When it hurts to say goodbye,

Only one revives your heart

When you thought you would die,

He brought you life, a brand new start.

Never forget.